


Close To You

by halfsweet



Series: Parallel AU [7]
Category: Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 19:09:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11630022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfsweet/pseuds/halfsweet
Summary: Brendon knows something’s wrong when Patrick started to fidget during his vocal warm-up routine.





	Close To You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sicklysweetpanic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sicklysweetpanic/gifts).



> Happy birthday! Stay awesome mmkay
> 
> This is largely inspired by the Seth Meyers performance, and it's a direct continuation to the previous installment of this series. So, you probably have to read [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11540172) first to get a gist of what's happening in this story :)
> 
> (unedited, because it's like 4am here but i'll get to it soon!)

Brendon knows something’s wrong when Patrick started to fidget during his vocal warm-up routine.

And he’s even more convinced when Patrick scratched the inside of his wrist just five minutes before they were supposed to go on live.

And he knows he’s right when Patrick blinks rapidly during the first few seconds into the song.

Patrick is nervous.

He stands silently at the side, hands shoved into his pocket as he continues to observe Fall Out Boy perform Champion for the first time. He’d come and watch the guys practice the song a few times, and in those few times, the guys did just fine.

But this… he doesn’t know why Patrick’s nervous when they’ve practiced before. Besides, it’s not like they haven’t performed live. At this point, everyone is already used to playing live like it’s just another gig.

Patrick’s eyes meet his for a brief second before he shifts his gaze back to the front, and during that short second, Brendon can see just how anxious Patrick is, like he’s begging him to take his place or shut the whole thing down so they can do a second take. And he would, really. He’d do anything for Patrick, especially after that night.

He had expected for Patrick to talk to him the next morning, but he didn’t. He was quiet; spent the whole day sleeping before he flew back that night.

He tried to talk to Patrick, tried to bring up what happened the previous night, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do so. He doesn’t know the extent of Patrick’s troubles, but he knows enough that a night is not going to fix anything that has been there for quite possibly a large portion of Patrick’s life.

Patrick’s nervousness is apparent, especially during the second verse. He stumbles on his lyrics, and he catches Pete glancing at Patrick worriedly for a second. Patrick manages to make up for it with the high note he’s hitting, however, and if this were a concert, he would have put both his fists up in the air and cheer out loud for him. The rest of the show goes well, in his opinion, even with Patrick’s jitters.

He rocks back and forth on his heels when they’re done, waiting for them to finish talking with Seth Meyers. When Patrick turns around and walks in his direction, he perks up, opening his arms.

“Hey.” He greets, immediately pulling Patrick into a hug, and whispers, “it was good. You did good, okay?”

Even though Patrick doesn’t respond with anything, he can feel Patrick resting his weight slightly on him, his head dropping on his shoulder. It’s a quiet, intimate moment for them, but Patrick eventually, reluctantly, pulls away when the guys pat him and each other on the back, beaming and congratulating on a good show.

They go backstage to have a little snack, and he already has his eyes on the tiers of cupcakes the second he stepped his foot into the room. He’s perfectly content to be in the background by the snack table as Pete and Joe talk with some of the crew guys.

He grabs another cupcake, about to offer it to Patrick when he turns to his left and finds the man missing. That’s weird. He could’ve sworn Patrick was beside him a minute ago. He looks around the room again—the guys are still talking to each other—and his pulse starts to race when Patrick’s nowhere in the room.

He puts the cupcake down on the table to find Patrick. Right when he’s in the doorway, Andy’s voice calls him. “Where are you going?”

He looks over his shoulder, glad that only Andy is looking at him as the rest are still immersed in their conversation. “I’m just gonna go find Patrick.”

Andy opens his mouth, like he’s about to say something, but he nods instead. “Call us if you’re going home.”

He leaves without another word; he knows Andy knows what’s going on. It’s hard not to when Patrick’s being extremely skittish tonight, and with Andy being the most observant person out of the guys, it probably only takes him about ten seconds to realize what’s going on.

He finds Patrick in the dressing room, leaning against the counter, knuckles white from gripping the edge of it as he stares down at the floor.

“Babe?”

Patrick looks up at him, brows knitted together and lower lip pulled between his teeth. He doesn’t move from his position by the counter, and Brendon can almost see tension rippling underneath his skin.

He closes the door behind him and walks up to Patrick, standing between his legs and wrapping his arms around him, pulling him to his chest. “Hey, you okay?”

Patrick’s head shifts against his chest; he can’t tell whether he’s nodding or shaking his head, but at least he’s relaxed now. He stays silent for a while, and Brendon takes Patrick’s cap off, placing it on the table before carding his fingers through his hair gently to take him off the edge.

“I don’t know.” Patrick eventually mumbles, his voice quiet. “M’sorry.”

Ever since that night, even though they didn’t really talk about it, he knows Patrick’s still struggling with something inside his head. He knows Patrick’s been keeping something from him all this time, but he doesn’t ask, especially when Patrick has been determined and adamant to keep it a secret this long.

It hurts, of course, to watch Patrick deal with whatever’s in his head all alone. And it also hurts that Patrick doesn’t talk to him. Does Patrick not trust him? Has he not earned enough trust for Patrick to confide in him? Or does Patrick think that he’s going to leave him once he tells everything?

But they’ve been together for _a decade._ He’d thought he made it clear that he’s not going anywhere.

He tries to be optimistic, that maybe Patrick will eventually tell him, but how long can he last? How long can he stand watching Patrick suffer, and he can’t do anything to help him?

Sighing, he kisses the top of his head, his lips lingering on his blond hair. “What are you sorry for?”

When Patrick goes quiet, that’s when he knows Patrick’s lost in his head again. Just like that night.

He doesn’t get why this happens. Patrick was fine before. He was all smiles and cuddly and witty jokes, but now he seems… _detached._ Lost. Far, even when they’re lying next to each other.

He’s seen Patrick like this before, but that was _years_ ago, after Fall Out Boy went on hiatus and when he was doing Soul Punk. But ever since Fall Out Boy came back again, he’s never seen Patrick any happier. And he’s happy that Patrick’s happy.

But now… something must have triggered Patrick lately, and he wishes he can fix it. Get rid of all the triggers so Patrick will never be like this again. He can’t, though. He doesn’t know what they are in the first place, and he will never know unless Patrick talks to him.

“Patrick?” He calls, soft, kissing his head again to get his attention. “Do you need me to do anything?” The question seems general enough, but he’s referring to the conversation they had the other night, and he hopes Patrick gets the meaning.

When Patrick looks up at him, his blue eyes almost glistening, he knows Patrick does.

Patrick’s hand reaches out for his, tangling their fingers together and just holding his hand. “Can you take me home?”

“Sure.” He pulls Patrick up and gives him one last kiss on his temple. “Let’s go home.”

Patrick might not talk that morning after, Patrick might not talk now, but he’ll wait. He doesn’t know how long, but he’ll wait.

Even if they have to go back to square one and start all over, he’ll wait.

**Author's Note:**

> Well. Looks like this series is going in a direction. Hope you liked it :)


End file.
